Lean on me

I’ve been in many situations, both at home and abroad, where there has been no support network or no one trustworthy to confide in. In these circumstances, I’ve seen how the mental and emotional health of my peers and myself are dramatically affected, especially when faced with culture shock. When I returned to the States after studying abroad in China for a year, it was extremely difficult for me to readjust to my home and native culture. I felt completely lost. Expecting my friends and family to be exactly the same as they had been when I left home, I was surprised and hurt to find that they had carried on with life without me. I was unable to connect to them and, because my time abroad had changed my world outlook and interests, I discovered that I could not find joy in activities that I once participated in regularly. I felt so distant and disconnected from everything and, to make matters worse, I had no one who could truly understand what I was going through. As a result, it took me 4-6 months to feel comfortable with myself and feel like I truly belonged home again.

When I arrived in Lima to begin training as a PCV, I was worried I was going to have to face a similar form of isolation and confusion as I adapted to life in Peru. I learned from my time in China that it is essential to have someone who you can talk to, someone who can understand what you’re going through, who is willing to be patient and listen, and can empathize and give you relevant and meaningful advice when needed. So, I was extremely relieved to find that the Peace Corps provided a Peer Support Network. The Peer Support Network (PSN), is a committee of PCVs led by the Peace Corps medical staff. Each PSN member serves for the entire duration of their Peace Corps service is in charge of protecting the emotional and mental health of the PCVs working within their region. They call each PCV at least once a month to check in on them, lead workshops in regards to stress management, emotional health, and mental well being, give advice and emotional support when needed, and also refer struggling PCVs to physicians and other Peace Corps staff members if medical or security risks arise.

Knowing firsthand how important it is to have a support network and how difficult it is to adapt to a new, foreign environment, my interest in the PSN grew as I began to work in my own site. For my own personal enjoyment and sanity, I found that I was already performing many of the basic duties of a PSN member. Every week, I call at least one PCV in my Peru 20 group to see how they’re doing and listen to whatever difficulties they’re encountering. In addition, when I travel to regional meetings, I always send letters to volunteers and to give them whatever encouragement I can. In addition, I have a natural interest in mental emotional health stemming from my time at college. I should also mention that, prior to arriving in Peru, I worked informally in many counseling jobs in my university. During my last two years in college, I joined Greek life and became the Vice President of Risk Management for my sorority. As a result, I underwent a lot of alcohol awareness and mental and emotional health training. Due to the nature of my school, I found that the greatest risk facing our community was stress, depression, and low self-esteem. As a result, I became an informal counselor for my sorority. I helped my sisters through daily problems such as breakups, finals, and family issues, as well as serious cases such as eating disorders and cutting. In the later case, I worked closely with the campus health center and psychological services to bring help to my sorority sisters and increase awareness of mental and emotional health within our community. In order to help increase healthy behavior and health awareness amongst my community, I also underwent training to become a campus sexual assault advisor. I was trained to recognize signs of sexual abuse and predator behavior, address issues regarding sexuality and gender identity crisis, and listen to both sexual assault survivors and witnesses and help them seek help and healing.

Despite the serious nature of this kind of work, I found that I truly loved and enjoyed acting as a counselor. So, it’s not surprising that eventually the light bulb went off: I should apply to be a PSN member. When the new round of applications were sent out, I decided to fill out the form and turn it in. Coincidentally, the application was given to me via USB drive when I was stranded in Tantará (see blog post “There’s no AAA in Peru”), so I had LOTS of down time to fill it out. I’m happy to say that after a month of waiting, I was chosen as the PSN representative for Huancavelica.

For the past couple of days, I’ve been in Lima to be sworn in to the PSN and receive training. I’ve reviewed PSN bylaws and ammendments, attended active listening, sexual abuse, alcoholism, and depression awareness workshops, proposed changes to future outreaches and trainings to new volunteers, received advice from doctors and psychologists, learned about coping strategies and grief counseling, and elected new executive committe memembers (by the way, you’re reading the words of the newly chosen Orientation Leader). By the end of the four days, I found myself exhaused, but eager and excited for the work ahead. Being a PSN representative is secondary to fulfilling the roles of a PCV, but nonetheless it is a demanding and important work. Oddly, I was reminded of this fact by a friend of mine back in the States and a post he put on Facebook:

"You know the people that are the strongest are usually the most sensitive? Did you know the people who exhibit the most kindness are the first to get mistreated? Did you know the one who takes care of others all the time are usually the ones who need it the most? Did you know the 3 hardest things to say are: “I love you,” “I'm sorry,” and “Help me?” Sometimes just because a person looks happy, you have to look past their smile and see how much pain they may be in."

Us PCVs are an incredibly strong and resilient group of people, but that still doesn’t mean we don’t need help. We go through an incredible amount of stress as well as incredible jumps between emotional highs and lows on a daily basis. When we fail, our failures seem huge. Unfortunately, when we succeed, the success is slow coming and often seems meager. Very rarely to PCVs give themselves positive reinforcement, although we most certainly deserve it. Rather than feel pride in what we’re doing, believe it or not the most common feeling we have is guilt: guilt over leaving our family and friends, of not being able to be there for others, for taking time for ourselves instead of constantly giving it to those in our community, for neglecting schooling and employment in the States…the list goes on and on. Yes, PCVs are strong, but they most certainly need help. I’m proud to say that this year we have an amazing group of volunteers who are committed to providing PCVs the emotional help they need. They are extremely talented, caring, and empathetic, and there is very little they wouldn’t do for their peers. I am so excited to work with them in the future and thanks to them I’m learning how much of a privilege it is to truly serve.